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Wiley, Angela R. 2007. Hooking up once the two: Interaction experiences to have compliment dating. The newest Message board to own Family and you may User Items, 12 (1).
An effective communication and you may problem-fixing enjoy is actually critical for relationships triumph; yet not, suit matchmaking wanted even more than good correspondence and you will problem-resolving feel. You will find a common more-dependence on these as the “regal road to relationship and you will a thriving, happy matrimony”(Gottman and you can Gold 1999, 8). These types of experiences are essential however enough getting strong relationship and you may will likely be contextualized included in the huge couples system. (Getting factual statements about other secret practices in order to strengthening and keeping a beneficial healthy relationship, understand the National Extension Relationships and Wedding Education Design,
In her book, The fresh new Dancing regarding Connection, specialist Harriet Lerner (2002) talks about that have an authentic sound for the essential intimate matchmaking. She contends you to definitely an essential part of experiencing a real voice are “publicly shar[ing] proficiency in addition to dilemmas and vulnerability (Lerner 2002, 3). Their much time-term health-related behavior shows that it really is intimate communications requires lovers completely listening to one another and inquiring clarifying inquiries that allow him or her knowing one another much deeper. Successfully sexual lovers also are in a position county their particular attitude and viewpoint, regardless if those people vary from the partner’s.
Bad perceptions. Negative translation designs commonly exists when partners believe new worst instead of the greatest from the one another (Fincham, Bradbury, and you can Scott, 1990; Holtzworth-Munroe and you may Jacobson 1985). Such as for instance people are certainly maybe not “keeping it confident.” They could practice a harsh begin-upwards quote centered on a terrible interpretation otherwise expectation. They may change facing otherwise of the spouse whenever reacting so you can a bid. Couples who will be expected to bad interpretations you will rather is funny an optimistic reason behind the new other people’s practices and you can discussing these with its partner. Such as for example, as opposed to, “You probably did perhaps not take out the newest rubbish because you should create me personally upset,” Jim you will tell their partner, Peg, “I am sure your did not remove the newest trash since you believe I’d have more to enhance the new can.”
Coan, J., J. Gottman, J. Babcock, and you may N. Jacobson. 1997. Battering and male getting rejected from infiuence from ladies. Competitive Behavior -388.
